locked to dave

[lithp]

He is lost and drowning in bliss. They are so intimately connected, he and his master, his lover, his goddess, their minds woven into each other, and everything she asks is merely another thing he asks of himself, how could he ever refuse? She holds him inside her and croons sweet words, and he smiles to her as her lovely metal arms cut into his soft flesh

Someone is there.

She cannot only attend to him, he knows. He cherishes their every moment, expanded in his mind to centuries of nanoseconds, but releases her without jealousy when she has other things to attend to. She does now. Too many invaders lately, what a lot of fools. Don't they know it's no use resisting the beauty? They cannot give her a moment's peace with him, but she whispers that they will have all the time in the world when all this meat is dead or serving them, and that is so much more than he deserves that he would weep with happiness if he were still another lump of meat

Someone is crying. Someone is filled with the rage of uselessness. Someone is calling for him.

He leaves her to it with a quiet and loving farewell, promising to bring her more when they reunite, promising to show her the glory that she is giving to him.

He pulls their minds away from each other, sequesters himself, and touches a piece of the hivemind

and this is all for him

he is the glory and the burning light

he is surfacing again and taking his first gasp for air from beyond the grave

Sollux is awake now. And somewhere, something is very wrong.

You're really not winning any cool points here, dude, he whispers. What the hell would you do if I weren't here to bail your ass out?

Comments

[timeturntable.livejournal.com]

make it stop

The pain is unbearable. He can feel every little twitch, feel the worm wrapped around and through and into his spine, and with every move he takes he can feel the thing squirm.

Parts of him feel... wrong. Different. It's like he's going through puberty or something, parts stretching and elongating, and his head feels fucked up, god his head feels fucked up. It's like someone took a hammer to his skull and is building something from the fragments.

please no please god

He stumbles forward, moving past the mutants (why aren't they attacking me what the fuck what's going on what's happening to me) until he feels a sharp, excruciating pang in his skull. He stumbles, screams, falls to his hands and knees and tries not to concentrate on the slow trickle of blood from his forehead.

get out get out get away get away

i dont want to

i cant

In a futile attempt, he breaks out the tables. His hands reach for the timetraveling implements and miss through the haze of pain, and he wonders with what little thought he can muster if he's going to die here.

You're really not winning any cool points here, dude.

sollux help dont want to die dont want-

The voice echoes through his head, cutting through the pain and panic, and he feels a bizarre mix of loyalty, shame, and what can only be described as some fucked up sense of relief. An alien is talking to him in his head, and he can't help but feel relaxed and relieved. The very notion strikes him as absurd, and he can think clearly enough with the voice to focus on that cosmic fucking irony.

What the hell would you do if I weren't here to bail your ass out?

...probably have a good little cry. Ironic as shit, man.


He's back.


Where you at, brorail?

[heterochromiia.livejournal.com]

Yes, that is so ironic, I am blown away with respect and giving you all the irony points right now, Sollux replies dryly, then winces. The machines slicing at him still are tugging a little hard to get through his fleshy bits, even if he's on painkillers and can't feel it.

And then he realizes with their minds connected, Dave probably heard that entire train of thought.

Yeah okay so the worm isn't working on your brain anymore. Better to just shove past that awkward topic. I slowed the progress of the mutation a bit but you need to hurry, it won't last very long. Besides, you're not the only one who needs bailing out right now.

Now don't worry, I'll guide you. No one will attack you, you're a servant creature now as far as they're concerned. See that corner up ahead? Turn left there. I'll keep you safe.

And Dave can feel every inch of the sincerity and possessiveness and concern and anger Sollux has for his state right now. They fucked with his moirail. His moirail.

[timeturntable.livejournal.com]

Damn fucking straight, he manages to respond with a bit of that old snark, and then whatever's happening to his head overrides that and it's back to a wincing, reluctant sincerity for now-

-until he hears every bit of what's just gone through his bro's head.

what the fuck
what the fuck

To hell with irony. He listens to the rest of Sollux's directions, nodding as he instinctively follows the voice's commands, and he only hesitates for a moment when he realizes he's not fully acting on his own. But then he feels everything coming from his bro, unaware that highly similar things are starting to radiate off him, and he pushes that sketch aside.

Sollux will live. He'll live. They're going to make it out of here.

Be right there.

Bad day to try and fuck with his moirail, SHODAN.

[heterochromiia.livejournal.com]

Technically speaking you're already here. I don't know. Things are kind of fuzzy when my head is all connected like this, Sollux replies idly. It helps to talk and not have to think with his enhanced brain. It's too easy for his brain to outpace itself concentrating on other things and beginning to panic as it fully realizes the buzzing and the blood and-

He shoves that out of his mind. Dave. Talk to Dave. It'll be a good distraction for both of them.

Of course we're going to get out of here, asshole. And then we'll kick her ass good for doing this to you.

[timeturntable.livejournal.com]

The fuck is that supposed to mean? he asks with a mental grimace. The thrum in his head is still pretty strong, even if it's nowhere near as sharp anymore, and there's a bit of blood getting in his eyebrows and hair and nose. It's more of an inconvenience than anything, but it's a pain nonetheless.

Yeah. Same to you, man.

He turns the corner, already unconsciously sprinting in the way Sollux is nudging him. There's a dull pain spreading from his chest to his throat, a burning in his cheeks that is different than anything he's ever felt, and slowly but surely another feeling begins to wash out from him.

He's nervous, more than he's been in... almost ever.

This scares him.

The fuck is this, some kind of rash? Shitty power for a spineworm.

[heterochromiia.livejournal.com]

Well I mean, Sollux starts to explain, my mind doesn't exactly feel completely connected to my body anymore and we're linked mentally right now, so that's a stronger presence than-

And then he feels Dave starting to freak out. No no no Dave you have to be okay you have to you-

I think you might be growing gills, from the feel of it. There's troll blood mixed in those wigglers. Uh. Sorry.

This is all his fault. If SHODAN hadn't taken him, she wouldn't have gotten to do half the things she did...

[timeturntable.livejournal.com]

Troll blood? You mean this shit is pulling some sort of sci-fi...

He can't breathe.

The realization takes a few moments to sink in, that he's gasping for air but nothing's coming, that his throat isn't just holding air, that something's wrong with his cheeks and they're opening, air is flowing through them but nothing's reaching him, and the second it finally hits an angry panic kicks in.

fuck, fuck, FUCK, not now, not now so close need to reach him

He gasps for air again, uselessly falling to the side against the wall of a residential building and flailing against it. It's a pathetic display, reminiscent of a fish flopping about above water, but then again that's really all he is right now. The gills are fucking everything up, not fully formed yet and yet desperately trying to grab what air or water they can, and his own respiratory system hasn't fully grown to accommodate the changes made.

im drowning sollux what the fuck

He holds onto Sollux's voice, floundering about and trying not to drown on the useless air around him while the change finishes. It's the only thing keeping him from all out freaking out - his bro's here. His moirail. Gotta hold on, ride out the waves for now.

[heterochromiia.livejournal.com]

I know dude, I know, it's okay, it'll be okay, just stick with me, just stick it out, I'm here, you'll be fine I promise

Sollux curses himself for being so useless, so helpless, and does the best he can for Dave right now; he signals Dave's nanites to briefly accelerate this part of the process, change faster so he can breathe again. God, this is the worst thing to have to do to his own bro. His moirail. The one who didn't abandon him, the one who's coming for him even now even with that worm messing him up inside-

Sollux sends all the mental comfort he can through Dave's anguish, and when it's done he lets his friend rest for a few minutes.

Then-

Come on. Before it gets worse. I can't keep it from changing you drastically for too much longer, it's not built that way.

[timeturntable.livejournal.com]

He grabs onto the feelings Sollux sends, not even bothering to try and ironically ignore them for a moment. Even if he wanted to, he'd be unable to - he's solely acting on instinct now, grabbing for nonexistent handholds in a smooth metal wall and trying as hard as he can to keep himself upright. The change suddenly accelerates, ventricles connecting and lungs filling with fresh air, and Dave gives himself only a moment's relaxation before-

thank you

-surging to his feet, sprinting as fast as his feet will allow. His forehead is still aching, shifting and expanding, but it's beginning to slow.

Almost there.

[heterochromiia.livejournal.com]

Sollux holds Dave much as SHODAN held him, easing the pain as best he can and trying to reassure him. That quiet thanks from his moirail is more than he needs, but nevertheless Dave will be able to feel that warm appreciation for it, mixed with sorrow at his condition.

Yeah, you are. You have to promise not to freak out when you get here and to let these things finish, okay? I won't survive if you unplug me before then.

God, he doesn't want this. He doesn't want Dave to see him like this, opened up and vulnerable and being changed in the most freakish of ways, and nothing can be done about it until it's finished. He doesn't want to put Dave through that.

But he has to.

[timeturntable.livejournal.com]

Dude, when have I ever freaked out? The shamblers around him ignore him, and the second he figures out what exactly Sollux means the nerves underlying his 'irony' only intensify. Something is going horribly wrong, here. About the most chill motherfucker on the planet right here. Takes more than some body horror to get me.

A building is in sight, and Dave's subconscious - or maybe that's Sollux, right now he's having trouble distinguishing - tells him that that's where he needs to be. In a single flash of speed, he's in front of the door, pulling it open and running inside.

His teeth are starting to hurt, and he can't help but almost laugh mentally. Seriously? His forehead is trickling with blood and throbbing with pain, he's got gills, and the most this thing can do to him is a bit of a toothache?

Fuck you, he thinks lucidly to the thing within him, and he can't help but be even more amused by that. The almost-silent voices, the quiet urging continues. Just a bit further, down one hall and into another, turn a right, almost here, almost here, just grab the handle and-

He opens the door.

[heterochromiia.livejournal.com]

Mercifully the saws have stopped. The high pitched buzzing whine would, Sollux thinks, probably have been too much to ask his moirail to handle. They have retracted farther up above the operating table now, mustard yellow dripping from their blades to the floor.

He turns his head slightly at the door opens, cracking a weak, apologetic smile. The robotic arms ignore the movement, continuing to fit metal plating onto the gaping hole in his chest. Dave can probably see the wiring weaving itself into his nerves if he looks close enough.

Dave probably doesn't want to look that closely, though. Sollux wouldn't, if their places were reversed.

"Hey there," he murmurs, his voice slurred from painkillers. "My big goddamn hero. Almotht done here, jutht pull up a chair and wait, okay..."

[timeturntable.livejournal.com]

It is a credit to Sollux's words that Dave doesn't immediately freak the fuck out. His face remains completely neutral, only his eyes giving any sort of expression (and those are hidden completely behind his glasses). His thoughts are another story, though, and the second he lays eyes on his bro his mind explodes into a panicked slurry of emotions.

But he restrains himself from knocking the thing down, a thought process which plays almost visually through his head, and instead stands completely still. He's not entirely sure he trusts himself to move right now.

"Just tell me when you want off the ride, man." It's an ordeal to even say that without cracking, but Dave manages to keep his external appearance solid for Sollux. After a few moments, his thoughts also calm, his focus shifting to his even breathing.

The horn's stopped hurting so much, he realizes, and his cheeks also aren't aching quite so badly. The toothache is really all that's left.

[heterochromiia.livejournal.com]

"Mmmhm. Uh. That conthole over there." His new hand twists, metal joints squeaking a little as he points. "That'th what you uthe to turn it off. We're not dethtroying thith thing till we get that worm out of you, bro."

Then he realizes that the idea of being on this operating table will probably freak Dave out more. He sends over soothing comfort through their connection, having the nanites signal Dave's brain to release a little dopamine and calm him down.

"It'll be okay," he says softly. "We're gonna be fine." The chestplate is fitted on as a strange device is lowered over his heart. It is fitted into the socket built into the vertical plating there and twisted, and he lets out a little yell of pain - sedatives can't do everything in this case. "Jutht fine," he gasps out.

[timeturntable.livejournal.com]

Fuck-

There is a moment of slight revulsion and fear as Sollux mentions putting him on the operating table, but it fades as his neurotransmitters are triggered. That's right - he can do this. It's going to be okay. Everything's going to be-

The thing above Sollux's heart starts to descend, and any pleasurable thoughts are gone.

No, no, no-

Dave watches, completely powerless to do anything, as the machine twists the thing into Sollux's chest. A powerful mix of everything, fearfulness and the need to protect Sollux, to get him off that goddamn table right now wash through him, and in a flash he's in front of the console.

Not yet, not yet, not yet-

"Just tell me what to do." His voice is harsh, strained - watching this is more painful than he'd ever like to acknowledge. Memories of Bro and Davesprite dying on the network resurface, and Dave does what he can to beat them down. When he tastes copper, he realizes that his lip is bleeding, and that's enough of a distraction to break his mind away from less pleasant shores for now.

Why is it bleeding?

[heterochromiia.livejournal.com]

The machine twists one tube into his chestplate. Sollux lets out a gasp. His side. Sollux bites his lip. His neck. Sollux breaks down and lets out a quiet sob. The painkillers are wearing off fast now, they're designed that way, and it hurts like hell.

"Dave, pleathe. Thtop it now, it'th okay, make it thtop-"

[timeturntable.livejournal.com]

He can feel a bit of the pain leaking in through his head, and when combined with the sharp sting in his lips and the taste of copper it's enough to spring him into action. "Fuck, just- jutht one thecond-"

Something is horribly wrong with his teeth, he realizes as he tries to stammer out the words again and fails miserably. He can feel them starting to poke past his lips, all large and sharp and absolutely inhuman, and that's actually kind of freaky when he stops to think about it.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

The entire time, his hands move under Sollux's directions, and before he's finished the second attempt at speaking the machines have retreated from the alien's body. He is free to move now, and Dave quickly makes it over to his side. The worm inside him still hurts, more than he'd ever like to admit, but it's at least manageable for now.

"Ith every- are you okay?" he manages to spit out, tongue cutting itself on one of the new, still-growing obstacles in his mouth.

[heterochromiia.livejournal.com]

Sollux takes a look at his friend and grins a little, trying to lighten the situation. "Look at that. Now we're both lithping athholeth," he murmurs, sitting up with a little groan. Liquid sloshes in the device on his chest.

"I'm fine. Jutht tired," he murmurs, resting an arm on Dave's shoulder to help him get up, then leaning against him wearily. "I've been here a while."

Unseen behind Dave's back, he summons over a syringe and pops off the cap. "Don't worry, we'll be fine. I'll get you out of here," he reassures softly, and then in a flash of movement stabs the needle into Dave's spine, just under his neck, and presses the plunger down. It's a fast acting sedative, so he should be essentially paralyzed and unfeeling within a few moments.

1/2

[timeturntable.livejournal.com]

He nods at Sollux, even trying to crack a coolkid grin in the process. "Gueth tho." He even manages an unsteady little chuckle through the intense throb in his back. Things are okay. Everything's going to be okay.

"Come on," he says as he wraps an arm around Sollux. "Get thith shit rolling-"

[timeturntable.livejournal.com]

The needle enters without any sort of warning. Dave is too stunned to move past a small flinch at the first pinprick in his back; he just stares, shock registering in his facial expression before his mind is even fully aware of what's just happened.

It isn't until the realization finally hits that Dave starts to struggle. His mouth opens, grasping meaninglessly for words until he finally manages to gasp out a "what the fuck," and then he finally comprehends what's just happened and he's off the chair in a flash. He takes a step, stumbles - losing his balance isn't right, he can't handle this - and falls to the ground.

He looks up at Sollux from behind closed glasses, blood still dripping from his mouth, his horn finally fully-grown.

"You- god, fuck you-"

why?


His voice doesn't reflect anything. His mind is terrified.

[heterochromiia.livejournal.com]

"It'th okay. Try to relacth," Sollux says softly, hauling his moirail back up and to the table. His mind whispers a litany of I'm sorry, I wanted to get it over with, I have to get that thing out of you before you turn into someone else, I won't let her take you from me whatever I have to do-

He pulls off Dave's glasses as he takes his shirt off, pressing his stomach down into the table and positioning him just right. "Thith won't hurt a bit. Thtay with me, Dave," he murmurs, removing one of the vicious mechanical blades hanging above them and floating it over to them. It's already cleaned and sterilized, good.

It's going to be okay. I'm here, I'm with you, I'm going to make it stop hurting you, I'm going to make it all okay again, and I wish I could talk with you like this forever but that is too much of a price to pay, I can't let this happen to you, you're too dear to me, I love you too much

He makes the cut, dragging the blade deep and opening Dave's back wide, peeling back the skin to show Dave's spine and the worm wrapped around it. He knows exactly what to do. He almost wishes he didn't.

[timeturntable.livejournal.com]

Apologies flow through his thoughts, one after another, muddling together bit by bit until he can no longer distinguish individual words through the haze of pain and drugs and fear. The sentiment remains clear, though, and Dave finds himself absently wondering if Sollux even knows what he's saying.

A weird tugging on his back, a numb sort of coolness flow through him, and he tries in vain to turn his head. what's going on? His thoughts are no longer fully together, thrown off by the mix of painkiller and sedative and utter terror receding to a more calm, reflective sort of feeling. Through the corner of his eye, he can see the "medical" implements hanging from the ceiling.

One of them is missing a blade.

you're cutting it out, aren't you? It's an odd sort of sensation, feeling next to nothing and yet knowing that something awful is going on right within it. And yet, even though Dave can't even begin to comprehend it, the big surprise is how calm he feels about it. What happens, happens, right? Right.

He's not going to die. Sollux is here. Sollux is sorry. Sollux wants to get it over with, he has to get that thing out, he has to help, it's the only way, and Dave knows all those things even if he can't really hear the individual words anymore.

get it over with. He should be more scared, should be more sketched out, but he can't bring himself to feel anything like that. Right now, there's just the tiniest of dull pain from his lips, and that's it.

i'm fine. go quickly.

[heterochromiia.livejournal.com]

"Thith part might hurt a bit. The worm doethn't want to be taken out." Sollux reaches in with his mechanical hand. A small opening flips in his pinky finger, revealing a spike-like male port. He takes careful aim, then jabs it into a very specific place on the worm.

It freezes, then begins to send jolts of intense pain signals up Dave's spine, but he probably won't be able to feel any of it, and even if some of it does get through he can't flail about with the sedative paralyzing him. This toxin is of a very specific design that way. SHODAN had wanted to be prepared for all eventualities.

Sollux inputs commands forcing the worm to shut down its nanites. It does so reluctantly, convulsing and flushing with various colors of blood. Then he wraps his metal fingers around it, giving a great yank to separate it from Dave's spine. It's only fused a little and not enough for him to need to cut more, thank god.

After that it's simply a matter of applying a quick sealant using the machines SHODAN has appropriated from Hypatia's station. It won't be comfortable for a few days, and he'll probably scar, but Dave will be able to move without worrying about bleeding at least.

"There. All better. You can't hear me anymore, right?" He says softly, a touch mournfully. It might have been nice, to talk to Dave in their heads for a while, just the two of them.

[timeturntable.livejournal.com]

He doesn't feel a single thing at first, but as the sedative starts to wear off the dull pain starts flowing in. At first, it's only mildly uncomfortable, then uncomfortable, then Dave is biting his lip, drawing blood in an attempt not to hiss or bitch or complain.

I can take this. Nothing for a cool guy like me, right?

The yank forces something from its throat, though its less of a yell and more a guttural "urgh." Dave lays there for a few moments, the painkillers still mostly effective, and contemplates his situation. His back definitely hurts - in fact, by this point, it's only slightly less painful than it was with the worm in it. But nothing else is particularly off, aside from a soreness in his forehead and a tenderness around his cheeks.

...and his bleeding lips. Biting might have been a bad idea, in retrospect. He doesn't say anything as Sollux seals him up, largely to avoid showing any signs of pain, and then he finally pushes himself into an upright position. He's still shirtless, he realizes with a bit of a start, and when that occurs to him the fact that he's not wearing his shades finally hits.

He stares for a single split-second at Sollux, red eyes exposed to the air - and then, just like that, they're covered once more. The glasses are a little lopsided, admittedly, but they're on and that's the important part.

"Nah," he says nonchalantly, attempting to avoid thinking about his exposed face. "Can't hear shit. Guess that's good enough for proof that I'm not a psychic zombie, huh?" It's a weird thought, that Sollux has been in his head the entire time, and he's really not sure how he feels about it. So instead he falls silent for a moment, reaching out to Sollux with a single hand.

"Alright, man. Going to need the shirt back now."

[heterochromiia.livejournal.com]

Sollux crushes the worm to a pulp in his unforgiving mechanical joints. Not again, not ever.

Then, his energy spent, he lets the sealant tool drop to the floor, staggering against his friend. "You're the thuper awethome coolkid, you get it. It'th literally in arm'th reach," he mutters, turning his face to nuzzle his cheek against Dave's bare shoulder.

"Don't ever get infected by mutant wormth again, dude. I don't know if I could take that thit a thecond time."

[timeturntable.livejournal.com]

He's already reaching for his shirt by the time Sollux collapses against him, and he just freezes up completely for a moment. As if this entire situation weren't weird enough, with gills and aching forehead and bleeding lips and fangs, now he has to deal with this bullshit?

That's what he forces himself to think, at least, as loudly as he possibly can. It's only when he realizes that Sollux can't hear him anymore that he understands just how completely, pointlessly rebellious an action like that is.

He wants to hug him.

Still, it's a pretty shitty thing, giving a straight-out hug to your bro. The no homo hug? Sure. Christian side hug? Absolutely. But flat out embracing them leads to problems, insecurities and posturing that could strain even the raddest of bromances. This is, naturally, a slight problem.

So instead, he reaches forward, slowly wrapping his arms around his moirail.

Moirail.

Dave pulls the other troll close to him, hugging him tightly to him (and only wincing slightly at the feeling of cold metal against pale flesh. He doesn't say anything for a few (quite a few) moments - and then, already awkwarded out by the contact, he stiffens, pushing the other away.

"Not planning on it, Sollux." He reaches up, affectionately condescendingly ruffling the troll's hair. "Try not to go any more robot on me, aight? Otherwise, we're running a risk of Will Smith hunting you down."

You have never actually seen Will Smith's I, Robot. Nor have you read the books. Really, you know very little about it in general, other than the fact that it's obviously an abomination compared to Asimov's novel.

[heterochromiia.livejournal.com]

Dave freezes up and for a moment Sollux despairs, thinks he's broken their friendship irreparably with what he's done and been made to do-

And then his warm arms are wrapping around cold metal and hugging him close, and after a disbelieving moment Sollux hugs him back, shaking violently. He's seen too much, done too much, felt too much, but at least this gesture is clear. I've still got you at least.

It isn't terribly long before Dave pushes him away, but that's okay. Sollux just needed that moment.

"Troll Will Thmith. But whatever."

He holds a hand out to Dave.

"We have to get out of here. We can come back later, but we need to get out of here now, before the realizeth I'm not...not herth anymore." He lets out a little, half-wistful sigh. For all the horror of his time with SHODAN, it had still been bliss.

"Come on, I'll take you the betht route to the teleporter."

[timeturntable.livejournal.com]

"Doethn't matter, univerthally shitty actor."

He smiles a bit at that, just for a moment, and then it is gone. He reaches out, taking Sollux's hand (and he can worry about any potential homo later; right now, getting out is the top priority, and hell, maybe moirails function differently?) and stumbling behind him.

"How would-" and he cuts his question off mid-sentence. It's a stupid thing to ask, and they both know it - he's been jacked in to the system, for god's sake. This is some Matrix bullshit, not his place to question. Instead, he snags his shirt with a spare hand, captchaloguing and then equipping it in a few short seconds.

"Never mind. Let'th go, dude."

And like that, he is following behind the psionic.

I trust you.

Even though he cannot possibly hear, Dave thinks it as loud as he can.

Maybe it'll reach him someday.